Hesitations...

(Warning: Possible rants on Eragon ahead...again. Forgive me.)

There are several characters along with a vague story arch bouncing around the confines of my imagination. It is a fantasy-like tale, although I'm not into the heavy magic stuff prevalent a la Harry Potter. I have tried multiple times to either sketch an outline (which I've never been good with) or begin actually writing the story, but every time I feel exceedingly...unprepared, and I've narrowed this sensation down to a few key factors:

For anyone who knows me or has read my reviews (eh, more often critiques than reviews), you know I am extremely critical of...well, just about every form of art and entertainment. I demand originality, intensity, subtlety, and details. God really is in the details, especially when it comes to storytelling (be it in verbal, written, or cinematic). I like to be surprised; I like the unexpected. But I over-analyze and it takes quite a twist to catch me off guard. (That said, I can appreciate a cleverity, even if I see it coming.)

So originality goes a long way with me. That is not to say everything in a book must be completely unheard of. But, I'd like to view the commonplace or cliche from a different direction, or have new dimensions added. I also know there are only a few general story lines in the human imagination; again, I like to see new dimensions to give it depth. I simply don't know that I have the ability to do that. I do not want to write something trite or unstimulating.

Above all else, a good book reflects the writer; and if the writer doesn't know anything, the book won't say anything. For me, the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back in Eragon wasn't so much the writing as the storytelling. The naivete of the author was brutally apparent in his tale. Yes, that was part of his hero's character, but the immaturity permeated every aspect of the story. That's a vital lesson I learned from Christopher Paolini: don't write what you don't know. If I haven't explored the world I'm in, how am I to create an entirely different one. (I'm not just referring to fantasy here; a historical setting could apply, as well.) If I haven't discovered the intricacies of the world surrounding me, how am I to weave literary gold from the straw of inexperience?

Anyway, it comes to this: I demand quality. And I don't know whether or not I could be satisfied with the quality of my work. I don't know that I am ready to begin the telling of an epic (or not so epic) tale. Sure, there's no way to know unless I try, but I'm thinking I'll start with something more...familiar. Since the time I was rolling around on the floor at two years old, listening as my mother read Little House on the Prairie to my brother, this lesson has been reinforced: write what you know. Of course, as I said, all writing is a reflection of the writer somehow, and one should begin with something that doesn't necessitate stretching too far.

I'm young. I haven't traveled far. I have a lot to learn about...well, everything. I don't think I'm ready to write about someone else's life, when I've barely lived my own. So, fleeting delusions-of-bestselling-grandeur aside, I'm testing the literary waters. I'm writing short stories, practicing basic skills, dabbling in poetry, and continuing in my songwriting. And for now, it will have to be enough.