Friday Night Lights

I cannot believe school starts in a month. All the plans I had for the summer haven't exactly fallen into place. With driver ed over, I might actually have time to do something, but there's not much time left. All too soon, it will be homework and backpacks and schedules and busyness. One thing I like about the whole highschool experience is football season. Our team sucks (unimaginably bad) but the poor little guys try their darned hardest. I like the atmosphere at games. It's something about the bright lights starkly contrasting the blackness of the sky and our ever boisterous and supportive crowd (this will be the second year we have a varsity fb team and it's amazing how many ppl show up to watch them lose) that makes it memorable and exhilarating. But enough about highschool football...

London Bridge

Another bombing in London, though not as serious as those on 7/7. Although Blair is denying these attacks have anything to do with Iraq, I think they do. Perhaps there would still be bombings if Britain didn't support the Iraq war; maybe they would be bombed just for being industrialized and democratic. But I do think these specific bombings are related to Britain allying themselves with America in this war. In the mind of an aspiring suicide bomber, it would make sense to try to weaken your enemy by breaking one of her allies, like a domino affect. However, I think these terrorists' and copy-cat terrorists' scheme is failing, and if the dominos do fall, it will only be back on them. Perhaps these attacks on British soil will awaken the people to a patriotism, much like the united spirit of America after 9/11, and fire of intolerance for terrorism. Maybe these assaults on freedom will be for good in the long run. Time will tell...

Hope for a Fallen World

Every day is a struggle. But I find that there is beauty in that struggle. I'm learning that I love this life, even with all the pain and trials and depression and poverty and politics and drama and persecutions. Under all this rubbish, all these ashes, there is beauty; there is truth and hope and strength and justice and love. The beauty is found in the simple things--the times of laughter and reflection, the people we take for granted. The hope is found in the asurance of an eternity (which is so completely unfathomable to my human mind) joining in the pleasure of the glory of God (I strongly recommend you read The Pleasures of God by John Piper. Have you noticed how shallow most Christians are in their spiritual journeys and how little they truly understand the mighty God we serve?). Even on this fallen earth, there is joy, though perfection is yet to come; there is hope through his redeeming Son. Glory to God for the wonderful world he created.
"The Lord your God is in your midst,
A victorious warrior.
He will exult over you with joy,
He will quiet you with his love..." Zephaniah 3:17a

Another Song

I wrote this short song a few months back after reading Matthew 24:4-28 and the cf in Luke. The title comes from Matthew 10:22. I see so many fruitions of these prophecies in international--and local--news; it's almost frightening sometimes. The end is so near. It's thrilling in a fearful way.

"He Who Endures"

I see the sky darkening
I hear the end harkening
I feel the world turning black
as satan's forces attack

I feel the earth quaking hard
I hear rumors of war
I watch men as they learn, ever learn
yet for truth they do not yearn

I watch selfish children mope
I know the world's without hope
I see fools considered wise
I see black, darkening skies

I watch famine halt supplies
I hear troubles multiply
I see the dark beginning
of sorrows, God, save us now

It's Good

This is a song I wrote about a month ago. It's not the best, and there are some awkward lines, but I like it. I've written the lyrics to a lot of songs--maybe 230--but have yet to write music for any.

oh, that cliched teenage angst
screaming "I will never be like you"
as the years, they disappear
we find that we misplaced our fear
the state to apprehend
is the state of never changing,
staying as you are
you know, our parents know a whole lot more
than we give them credit for
and seeing through their eyes,
imagining what it could be like--
it isn't such a sin as we insisted on believing
in the end, it's good

{chorus:}
eventually, we all see the world
by another man's perspective
that's the way of wisdom,
and it's good

teacher's words, they never fade
mentors in authoritative guise
as the years, they disappear
we find that maybe they were wise
the time of growing old
is the time of constant learning
sharing ev'rything
you know with younger generations born
just to hear your words for them
and seeing through their eyes,
remembering what your youth was like--
it isn't such a sin as we insisted on believing
in the end, it's good
it's good

To Catch a Thief (or Two)

Since thursday, I and my aunt from Seattle have been staying at our relative's house as my rents are out of town at a family reunion. Last night, however, I and some friends stayed at my house. There has been a slight increase in crime in our neighborhood in the last few weeks and my mom felt it would be good if there was activity in our house at night to fend off any would-be burglars. Ironically, it was I and my friend Vanessa who were breaking and entering last night. Because of a somewhat complicated situation, we were dropped off at my house without my key and, knowing we would have to wait outside for at least twenty minutes, decided to attempt to get into my room through one of my windows. Amazingly, I had left one of them unclocked (even though I double checked them all on thursday), and I knew how the screen came out; so, with nothing but a wooden saw horse, a paint can opener, and a push light that we had on our back porch, I broke into my bedroom at ten-thirty at night. I had attempted this feat before unsuccessfully, so it was an achievement. With the amount of noise we were making ( I originally tried to incorporate one of my dad's big, clanky steel ladders to reach the window), I was surprised nobody called the police. That would have made quite a memorable night, indeed.

To the World...

I'd like to express my gratitude to the world, to all the individuals who have formed and taught my soul, whether they were aware of it or not. They may likely never see this, but the sentiment is the same. And so, I thank you.

Unperceived Wisdom

As I've grown older (oh yes, the wise, old age of sixteen), I've increasingly noticed how the strongest people I know, and those I respect the most, tend to see themselves as weak and unworthy of honor. I find that the characteristicsor traits I cherish and desire to emulate are not those of the grand and self-aware, but those of the humble and meek--those who are great, unbeknownst to themselves. Those are my friends and teachers and neighbors who I see as truly beautiful. They serve lovingly, forgive willingly, give selflessly; they fight righteously, struggle painfully, endure eternally. Through all of life--torn and broken and joyous and enraptured and awed--they persevere.
The people who have the most intimate relationship with God are those who stumble and fall and get up and continue running the race toward the prize set before them, not those who jog along condemning those who fall while they themselves are headed off track. Those who think they are wise and good rarely are.
Of course, the concept of the meek and loving and honest being great is nothing new (as nothing is). Long ago, a Teacher with twelve followers uttered these truths in a more profound and distinct way. But Wisdom has a way of taking head knowledge and transforming it into perspective.

"Within a Morning Star"

I often get frustrated with my prevailing indecision about life. At the beginning of this year, I realized that I had wasted the first 16 years of my life in mediocrity and daily activity, without any real purpose outside of "finding my identity." The problem was, I never sought an identity in anything of substance. I tried the instant-identity of appearance, and found little confidence there. At sixteen, I was holding onto the lyrics to "Hundred Years" by Five For Fighting while trying to grasp at eternity. I've always known the cliche truths that life is short and time is fleeting, but it hit me hard on my sixteenth birthday. There is so much to do, so much to learn and experience and know and teach. I won't waste my life or squander time. There is beauty in life, and much to live for, many to serve, knowledge to gain, hope to spread truth to share.
Side note, of sorts: I have always hated stereotypes. I will not embody that of a normal teenager--partying all night, sleeping til noon, disregarding social and political issues, getting my education and opinion from celebrities, viewing the world cynically, being apathetic to basically everything. The sterotype my MTV generation has been labelled with is not all wrong. In fact, there are many young ppl who live this lifestyle; however, I am disappointed in adults when they assume every human under 25 who grew up in Western culture is the fruition of such prophetic stereotypes. Too many people--and I admit this goes both ways--see a generation and not an individual. It's disheartening, but remediable. It just takes some vision and labor.
I realize this post does not have the most logical flow; I'm thinking more than I'm typing, so there are bound to be gaps in the thought process.

Life

This is a pic of my cat, Zowi (pronounced like "Zoe") thatI took early in the spring. There was still some snow cover on the ground at that time; obviously, there wasn't any where she was.

Engine Overload

I started driver's ed on Wednesday and driving on Thursday. The class isn't really hard, and driving...well, I'll improve; but the homework is so time consuming, it's really quite unreasonable. It could be because I missed the first class, so I was three chapters and two "dittos" (these assignment sheets that take various forms, like crossword puzzles and T/F questions) and had to catch up on those. Now that I am mostly caught up, it probably won't take as many hours. The work is easy; it just consumes a lot of time.
My Aunt Loreena is coming to stay with us for a couple of weeks tomorrow, and an uncle and cousin that live in town will be moving up to Washington. This summer has brought a lot of changes, for better or for worse.

Downfall

Since yesterday was Independence Day, I've been thinking (even more than usual) about America and the freedoms we have, notwithstanding the recent Supreme Court ruling regarding private property; and how as a nation, especially the rightly-dubbed MTV generation, we take them for granted. We praise and pledge support for the Military; we swore we would never forget the 9/11 terror attacks; but what do we actually do? How often do we remember to pray for our troops (whether we agree with the politics of a certain war or not)? How often do we evaluate and re-evaluate our positions on political and social issues? How informed do we stay? If there is one thing that I've learned to expect from humanity--especially in Western nations--it's convenient amnesia. We live in a sensate society; we're obsessed with pleasure, entertainment and self-indulgence; we've rejected what is sacred. How do we expect this to continue? Why do we believe that we can live indefinately with freedom without laboring to ensure justice and liberty not only for ourselves, but the generation to come? I don't see a lot of justice and liberty in this nation today. It seems like we've lost our ideals, our perspective on justice, our vision for tomorrow. We have lost the romance of hope. America is not what it has been. Can we be heading toward anything but a compromise or downfall? Let's pray I'm just being cynical.

The Lion's...Growl

After a week in La Grande, OR, with 400+ highschool girls, it's nice to be back. It was a fun week, sometimes challenging, all-around worthwhile. The dorms were small, and there were only three showers for our hall (equate that with about 25 dirty, sweaty chicks), but it actually wasn't too bad. We had a small freshmen initiation, but word on the street is that there's a lot more to come. The Lady Lions (that's my team) won first place in our level. Before the three games the final day, we made a deal with our coach that if we won the championship, we could get coffee at Starbucks on the way home and gel his hair up, and we ended up making him cary the dinky little trophy we got around the store and into the olive garden with us. His hair looked flippin' awesome, I must say.
Our "discussion times" after the motivational speakers each evening were interesting. We rarely "discussed" anything, but Rachel invented twist on the game of tag (you have to stay on the cracks of the sidewalk) and we even had a mini talent show on Thursday that ended with Staci getting soaked, but that's a long story....
Anyway, I learned a lot at basketball camp that I hope to continue practicing and improving with. Everyone on my team set a lot of goals (or at least a few really good ones) for the summer, and we're going to try to stay accountable to one another and keep striving to grow. If we keep training hard, I know we can rise above the competition next season and go far...maybe even win some more hardware for the school trophy case that doesn't exist.