Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered.
[W. H. Auden]

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Assumptions

An assertive, middle-aged blonde lady came into work early this week and wanted to know something about our Halloween product. As I was answering her question, she was interupted by a phone call. This is what I heard:

"Hello?
(listens)
What? She gave birth? We have a baby?
(listens)
It's a bit early, isn't it?
(listens)
Girl or boy?
(listens)
Is mom okay?
(listens)
Well is she okay?
(listens)
Is the umbilical chord still wrapped around her head?
(listens)
How tall is she?
(listens)
What does she weigh?
(listens)
What color is she--black? Or white, or pinkorpurple...
(listens)
Are you sure she's okay?"

The color question confused me by the sheer confidence with which it was delivered, but I assumed she was conversing about a human infant until she asked, in clear reference to said infant:

"Is she standing up okay, or falling over?"

Turns out there is what I gather to be a new calf in the family. When the lady was paying, she mentioned something about "raising albino."

...Black and pink albino?

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Oh, Marcia...

College, college, college, that's all I ever hear about.

Seriously, I don't get personal snail- or e-mail anymore. It's all colleges spamming for my attention. Meh.

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Friday, September 15, 2006

Improvement?

I got a 94% on my math lesson yesterday. Woot!

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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Leaking

Our washing machine is slowly filling with water. I can hear the drip...drip...drip... as I type.

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Saturday, September 09, 2006

Scarious

(adj. Thin, dry, and membranous, as certain bracts; chaffy.)

[Editor's Note: If you're wondering whether www.dictionary.com is a reliable source, it gives--at least concerning this word--the verbatum definition from Random House, which is generally considered a reliable authority on words. (: ]

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Sparge (v. To scatter or sprinkle; n. A sprinkling.)

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Breakin' the Rules

Kari and Lil' K came over on Friday. In the evening, we raided my mom's old 80's clothes and, looking hot, learned to breakdance. That's right, in Nappy D fashion (pun inteneded), we grooved it up in the living room, dancing in front of the telly; the instructor on the tape was a star in the 1984 movie Breakin, which I had never heard of before.









And oh, we did look hot:















The Autodaughters came over for a Labour Day BBQ and croquet. As they didn't arrive until past 5 in the evening, we didn't get around to playing croquet until just before 8 o'clock. The teams were much diminished compared to the usual groups, but two on two worked out to be just as fun, and in retrospect, it's probably good there were less people playing as it was dark by the time we finished anyway, and more people would have prolonged much later. Although my cousin Jon and his friend set up the course, the left before playing; it was a crappy course, but we added some interest by teeing up from unexpected locations such as fence posts, gashes in the sidewalk, the top of the fire hydrant, and such. By the last wicket, we had to use a tap-light and flashlight. Our continuously flickering streetlight didn't shine too much light on the subject but did add some comic relief from the intensity of the competition.

Aunt Bee made some sort of an eggplant/pasta concoction this evening. The aforementioned plant rather tasted like plum-textured mushroom, but it was interesting. Perhaps my tastebuds, once accustomed to the foreign flavor, would appreciate it on a second try.

I haven't been out to spectate & support at too many school games this year due to schedule conflicts; however, I did get over to a volleyball game on Teusday, and they beat our cross-town rival, which was good. Hopefully I'll be able to attend the football game this weekend.

To justify my copmlete lack of skill and understanding and patience, I, future Philosopher Queen of the World, declare that math is biased against right-brained people, and should not be forced upon said people due to the trauma it causes. Proof* of my right braineditude:


You Are 40% Left Brained, 60% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.

Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.

If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.

Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.



The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.

Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.

If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.

Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.


*Do not suppose thyself so smart as to argue with the Internet, fool!
(Editor's note: Eh, forgive the random Shakespearean Mr. T moment. Eggplant messes with the right-brained mind.)

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