Twilight (Stephanie Meyer)

Bella has just moved to Forks, WA. to live with her dad. She's clumsy but surprisingly popular in her new school, where she notices a peculiar but strikingly beautiful classmate, Edward Cullen. Edward is at first hostile, then overly-friendly, constantly shifting his mood. He has perfect superpowers, perfect timing, a perfect mind, and a perfect body. In fact, despite a few confusing mood swings, Edward is pretty much a perfect man. Well, actually, he's a vampire, but that doesn't stop Bella from falling in love with him. He, in return, is infatuated with her. Fast forward through about 300 pages of hormornal upheaval in which Bella and Edward explore the perfect romance in which Bella is perfectly besotted and Edward is perfectly heroic, handsome, and charmingly conflicted about his monsterish nature. Bella eventually meets the whole vampire family, (Please don't condemn the vampires because of their monsterish nature because they are, in fact, "vegetarian" vampires who abstain from human blood, thus making Bella and Edward's relationship possible.) who soon have the task of protecting her from bad vampires who want to, well, suck her blood. Fortunately for Bella, Edward and his family are immortal and, as mentioned, have perfect timing.

How perfect, right?
Stephanie Meyers has authored an ordinary romance novel, devoid of artistic merit or a hint of substance, and she assumes I, her reader, will sigh and wistfully say "Oh, I wish I could be Bella!" And yes, maybe her assumption is correct, because girls by the thousands are buying Twilight, indulging in what boils down to being just another teen fantasy...

There are hundreds of similar books on the market; I was especially disappointed in Twilight, however, because I expected so much more. I expected a story suspenseful, artistic, and original; I read a romance novel predictable, mediocre, and cheap. I, in my steadfast optimism toward YA lit, hoped for something different, something to perhaps challenge me. Something with engaging characters complimented with an intelligent storyline. It was a foolish hope.
It's told a bit differently and sold a bit differently, but in the end, Twilight is just more of the same old story.

[editor's note: When I wrote this review (which I edited and revamped a bit before posting here), it was on demand from one of my friends, who loved the book. I was angry, rushed, and the original review was a bit irrationally muddled for it; it shows even in the edited version, but I hope I made my point without sounding like a maniacal, raging idiot.]