Warning: Exploding Ear-drums Ahead

One day when I was a baby, my mother was concerned because I would not stop crying--nay, wailing--for an extended time. Anxious, she called my grandma while my dad held my adorable and upset little self. (I was quite an adorable child, in case you didn't know, and tend to be quite vain about it. Well, I was adorable except for that period of a few months in which I was starved and resembled Gollum, in an endearing way. Anyway...) As she conferred, I abruptly stopped my cries, and my ear started to emit blood. Apparently, my tympanic membrane had burst, some symptom relating to several ear infections I had suffered. I never heard this story until about three days ago, and now I am terribly paranoid that it's going to happen again, though sans the infections.

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waggery (n. mischievous merriment; pleasantry)