Oh dear...

My friend Kari sent me a list of ways to entertain yourself in an elevator. There were too many, and some might end with a mandatory chat with a security officer (like #27), but I'll post my favorites:

2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?
4. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
7. Meow occasionally.
9. Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM" and back away slowly
16. Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
23. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
25. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
26. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
27. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
31. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
33. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
38. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go"plink" at the bottom.

What frightens me is that I would do some of these (especially things like 2, 3, 6, and 31). They sound almost as fun as ending mundace sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

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pugilist (n. one who fights with his fists)